You made me believe it was all my fault!
Even at times when the beatings had stopped,
I wrote so many "im sorry" letters,
I carried too many pressures,
I survived your many lies!
You begged me to cry,
You pulled my hair,
I tried to shade the bruising,
You didn't even care,
You just whispered "you're losing"
I stumbled because I was blind,
But in the end, my life I survived!
You thought you had power,
But I saw you as a coward,
Every drunken night my heart was in pieces,
Every drunken fight I said I was bloody leaving!
My life you effortlessly stolen,
Instead, I saw you as broken,
When I washed my hands of my blood,
I told myself you're just misunderstood,
Tomorrow will be a different day,
He won't give me the same horrible pain,
I locked myself in the wardrobe,
I had 999 on my mobile phone,
I was so scared of moving on!
My happy self was lost and gone,
I dreamt of being so strong,
In the dark, I was very wrong,
I was powerless in your preying eyes,
You hit me with bottles night after night,
In the mirror, I questioned my fears,
And it was the voice of you in my ears,
In my lonely nights, I heard my screams echo that my scars were real,
Jesus Christ! how can all of this be real, as my heart reminds me I can't feel,
Was this the way it was going to be?
Was this my horrific tortured destiny?
I still had my soul,
A tear shed for me instead of you,
I had to let go,
You were a monster in my eyes,
I climbed from the bottom,
I pushed that red button,
Here stands a woman who is now free,
No more tears I cry for this ugly beast,
Through all of this, I can still dream,
A monster I survived!
I've changed in my life!
Thank God I survived...
(C) Wayne Stubbs.