I Survived!


You made me believe it was all my fault!

Even at times when the beatings had stopped,

I wrote so many "im sorry" letters,

I carried too many pressures,

I survived your many lies!

You begged me to cry,

You pulled my hair,

I tried to shade the bruising,

You didn't even care,

You just whispered "you're losing"

I stumbled because I was blind,

But in the end, my life I survived!

You thought you had power,

But I saw you as a coward,

Every drunken night my heart was in pieces,

Every drunken fight I said I was bloody leaving!

My life you effortlessly stolen,

Instead, I saw you as broken,

When I washed my hands of my blood,

I told myself you're just misunderstood,

Tomorrow will be a different day,

He won't give me the same horrible pain,

I locked myself in the wardrobe,

I had 999 on my mobile phone,

I was so scared of moving on!

My happy self was lost and gone,

I dreamt of being so strong,

In the dark, I was very wrong,

I was powerless in your preying eyes,

You hit me with bottles night after night,

In the mirror, I questioned my fears,

And it was the voice of you in my ears,

In my lonely nights, I heard my screams echo that my scars were real,

Jesus Christ! how can all of this be real, as my heart reminds me I can't feel,

Was this the way it was going to be?

Was this my horrific tortured destiny?

HELL NO!

I still had my soul,

A tear shed for me instead of you,

I had to let go,

You were a monster in my eyes,

I climbed from the bottom,

I pushed that red button,

Alert!

Alert!

Here stands a woman who is now free,

No more tears I cry for this ugly beast,

Through all of this, I can still dream,

A monster I survived!

I've changed in my life!

I survived!

Thank God I survived...


(C) Wayne Stubbs.