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You went from zero to one hundred overnight felt electric ,like nobody has ever made you feel before. The love ,the fear and concern we have for our mental wellbeing and your physical safety. Feelings like that just don't turn off...all I feel now is anger ; red hot all consuming anger. (Hysterical historical)...when you feel hysterical incredibly intense, overwhelming emotions,rage I need to run away ,a sudden need to never speak to someone again. It's often because something unprocessed from your past has been triggered . So when you hysterical it's historical !!!

It's time to loosen life ,make jokes ; see the silver lining . It doesn't mean you not a serious person ,it means you don't take yourself too seriously. Recently I'm alot hysterical which means I'm historical...means I make everything all about me; we get mad at everything is because we mad at the world (damn).It's selfish and it's irrational ; I'm kinda doing my thing " my push through it" !!!

The truth is I wanna crawl into a hole; and I want to let that hole swallow me and hope that no one finds me. But everyone expects me to (be me)...laugh through the tears, make jokes and make them feel better. We all have a physcological immune system; just like our physicalogical immune system helps our bodies recover from physical attacks ; our brains are working to protect us from physcological ones !!!

Sometimes it feels like there's no air in your you won't feel joy again; like nothing will ever be okay again. So you try to push it down;you try not to feel it; the further you push it the longer it stays. You have to let it out , to cry to laughing and to cry again "which is all the same" . Let it out of your body and you need it out of your body because when it comes out ; it makes room for light to come back in !!!


Stay safe



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