It's hard to sleep when your heart is at war with your mind...I try to do whatever to quiet my thoughts,nothing works. Music, television...anything I can find to drown out this deafening noise if my mind. I tell myself that everything will work out the way it supposed to,but my heart won't rest and my thoughts never quits. I'm always consumed by the relentless overthinking...I can't remember a time when I could turn off my mind, I've come to accept that's just who I am "an overthinker". When my heart battles with my mind at night...it's overwhelming. My head tells me "let go"...make peace with the broken roads I've traveled but my heart won't let me. I can't help but cry in these times...when everything inside me is at war with what I should do !!!
It tells me to keep fighting, to hold on...the tears that flows as I try to regain my composure...it's impossible sometimes to keep it together. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better...or have some ideas of what I should do, but right now I just feel utterly lost. I just want peace...conflict wages inside every corner of me with no end in sight
I close my eyes and think back to simpler times...I find myself slowly drifting off as those warm thoughts wrap around me like a comforting blanket ,giving me much needed peace. As my heart and mind slow...my dreams take me away to a more serene place ,my last thought before succumbing to exhaustion is but a simple wish !!!
Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way to a happier place and there...I'll remember what it means to be content again...where my mind and heart can finally agree with what's best for me. Until then I'll just do what I have with what I can...simple reminder that gives me solace if but for a moment as I drift off. It's always darkest before dawn...I know that tomorrow will have to be a better day, if not I'll just keep pushing forward and hope for moments of quiet thoughts...for me , for now that will have to be enough !!!