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VINO'S SOUL KITCHEN #356

My coping mechanism is shutting down...switching off everything, withdrawing and trying to heal my own pain. Does it help me? No, sometimes it does ease the pain but most time it just hurts so much more, why does everything around me feel so heavy again lately? I thought i was doing so well lately, I'm trying my best to distract myself just so I can escape from this sadness that's building up inside of me. But it seems to me like I'm drowning deeper in despair, I wish I could express the right words for this kind of feeling...but I guess no words can ever describe it. Even if I say, I feel so empty, so lost or sometimes I feel this loneliness, it weighing down my heart and soul, like an incurable disease eating the insides of me. I have lost so much and it hurts so much because I'm still losing much much more, will this pain, sadness and emptiness ever come to an end, is it my destiny to live this life of pain, sorrow and heartbreak? Or am i destined for a better life? So many unanswered questions !!!

I wish I could figure out how to be strong in this situation...because the truth is, most of the time, I feel like giving up on myself. Sometimes, I wish I could just disappear, sometimes, I'm so tired of everything that I think about running away. Is there any way to remain strong while I'm watching myself fall apart? People say that there are so many reasons to be happy, but here I am, struggling and confused about what they say. Because sadness has stayed way too long in my heart, and I can no longer remember what it feels like to be happy, yes i smile and yes i laugh out loud. I'm human and it's human nature to put on a facade, i wear my happy mask most of the day, when I'm all alone, my mask automatically falls off and I'm left fighting these demons in my head all by myself. Sleepless nights...mind over-working, i wake up to face another day with all smiles and laughter...that's just how I am !!!


@atticradiothecarouselneverstopsturning

Stay safe

V.

2 Comments


Lloyd Walls
Lloyd Walls
Jul 08

Let those that care about you be there for you. I know you probably don't want to be a burden as we all have issues.


Look at it this way. Everyone's house can get messy. Now we can all clean our houses, but, all we have done is cleaned our house. But I can also help you clean yours and in doing that not only do you get a cleaner house, but I am helping you and also g the way may find a better way to clean my house.


Seriously. Reach out to those that care, isolating yourself will only make things worse

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lutchmiahvino
lutchmiahvino
Jul 08
Replying to

💚🫂

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