Sometimes you need a break from your own thoughts...
Most times when I'm by myself,mostly at night I just wish I could turn off my mind. The quietness of my evenings are drowned out by the deafening roar passing through my mind. Exhausting at times overthinking not giving my mind a break ,thoughts like where I've been ,what tomorrow will bring and everything else in-between.
I wrestle just to get some sleep,numbing my mind with music, medication and everything else that calms my chaos !!!
I have these amazing little circle of friends I call "my people ".They always so thoughtful and considerate ,trying to offer help and support,most of them don't know half the battles I fight just trying to get a few hours of sleep . (My people are always there upholding me).
My heart is so heavy and my soul weary,
It's not easy when you so mentally exhausted that you can't drag yourself out of bed,at the same time you so mentally awake you can't sleep. There's a few beautiful moments tucked between the chaotic mess of my thoughts (pleasant memories) that automatically takes me to my happy place !!! Sometimes it's a person, a place or someone I love ,those are the memories and feelings that makes my overthinking worthwhile, like a warm wind of happiness wraps around me ,takes me away into a peaceful happy moment!!!
Those happy thoughts are everything to me. In search of peaceful sleep, I close my eyes and dream of happiness.
Yes it sounds silly and somewhat ridiculous but it makes me happy .
With theses days and times ,I'll take all the smiles I can get ...