It's easy to look back and question decisions I've made in the past, I've been unfair and punishing myself for them. I can't blame myself for not knowing back then what I know now ,truth be told I made decisions for a reason ,based on what I was feeling and going through at that time. Today looking back its a lesson learnt and I evolved, the person I am now would definitely done things differently back then ,but I'm definitely a better more confident person I am now compared to the person I was back then !!!
Sometimes you need to put up walls not to keep people out ,but to see who cares enough to break them down . If 2021 is telling me anything (it's definitely telling me to enjoy the moments we have and don't any day ,anything ,or anyone for granted). My scars tells a story "they are reminders of when life tried to break me but failed ".
Looking at my life and watching the aftermath of all the nonsense I faced is heartbreaking but I survived and I came out stronger than ever. One thing I learnt dearly is I prefer loneliness anytime over fake people !!!
I've realized my value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see my worth. I will never apologize for who I am ,how I live, I will never explain myself to anybody, cos the right people will always appreciate who you are .I've spent to much of my life explaining myself ,trying to justify who and why I'm the way I choose to be. Well it's time I took a step back a deep breath and stopped explaining who I am to people.
Stop justifying yourself its your life ,nobody else is walking your path and faced the challenges that I'd faced.
My victories my failures are the things that make me beautifully unique.
I've wasted so much time ,energy and headspace ,trying to be accepted by people that will never get me the way I deserve . I actually stopped spending my time on people that don't matter and im investing more time,energy on the beautiful souls that do. I'm celebrating those qualities ,milestones and lessons and let people think what they will. I'm wonderful and awesome just the way I am and won't be changing for nobody . I just smile and walk away from toxic intolerable people ,I owe them no explanation...
I spent too long trying to make myself fit into this cruel world and ungrateful people that don't appreciate me enough.
So I stopped explaining and started living my best life. Its time for me to fly after all nobody can and will love me as good as I can !!!