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Heaven has you in there keeping we have you in our hearts, the most painful goodbye's are those which are never said and never has been the saddest most coldest few months we have ever endured. Not because it's cold or it's's like this bone chilling feeling of how you'll never again answer when we call you. We find ourselves waiting/watching for breaks our heart over and over when we realize you aren't coming back. This is the hardest time seeing people all over full of joy and happiness, coz this is a season to be happy and joyous yet our hearts are all broken  (ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU OUR PUPPY) !!!

Losing you is the most painful and  heartbreaking ripping feeling, we don't feel like laughing, smiling or celebrating but we have to try to go along with it for the other kids, all we feel is the guilt for moving on without you. Yes it's hurting...your presents not bought, your chair not sat in, your plate and cup not used. The memories of the past Christmases that threaten to suck the joy out of all of us...thinking of you we may raise a smile between the tears !!!

These few months have been like an earthquake...your world falls apart, even after trying to put your world together again, there are the after shocks flooding in. It's that feeling like leaving the hospital that night after you passed away there & that feeling like we left you behind all alone. That's a different kind of hurt and heartache...something that will haunt us for a long long time. The hardest part of grieving is keeping your loved ones safe...sheltering them from the broken shards (something thats broken having sharp edges). Because shattered glass has nothing but sharp edges and having a broken heart is not much difference !!!

This grief journey is the hardest journey for anyone to suffer...yes it will take time (for some it takes a very long time, maybe never and for others they learn to accept/ deal with the loss and move on, then there's some that stays in denial). Everyone deals differently...what I realized is that you cannot rush the grieving process. The pain will always be there, the emptiness never gets filled, you will have days were you don't wanna chat to anyone, you don't wanna shower, I say to you "DON'T BE HARD ON YOURSELF". When you having these emotional days it's normal, even to cry is normal, staying in bed all day is normal locked in tears is also normal. These days will still occur and try so hard to be the strongest person everyone accepts you to be, don't forget it's your feelings so you allowed to mourn, cry, scream however you see it fit,  "You do You" take each day at your own pace !!!


Stay safe


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Love yourself first... Choose those who choose you...I bet it bothers some people that "at your weakest you're still stronger than them". If standing up for yourself burns bridges; own your matches to


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