My life kept rolling forward blow after blow...I never processed it; I kept it inside; I fell back on my bad habits. I wall up ,isolate and shutdown that's how I cope ; I freak out over cos I don't feel safe . I'm so messed up ; at times I just shut everyone completely out for days on end. We shut out the people who care; friendships breakdown; lives fall apart ...we always looking for someone else to blame , we stop fighting, we give up ; we not only do ourselves a dis-service by not fighting harder; we hurt the ones that love and care for us the most !!!
We all make mistakes; we all have our own shutdown...that doesn't make us heartless individuals. We all just suffer from pain that makes us think irrationally or do irrational stuff (doing stuff without seeking out the consequences first). We are the ones that's always putting other people's lives before our very own ; we carry all this like an achor and it's pulling us down !!!
Do we stop to consider what other individuals are carrying...what they feeling .
We riding mighty high on our horses; people all over lie and so do we "sometimes". We constantly thinking what we say ,how we sound . Luxury of mistakes...we all know better. It's not fair ...just the way the world works ; doesn't mean that we have to !!!
People may have walked your shoes but they didn't travel the same distance...we all carry our burdens but some of us drop the corner; nobody has any idea what the next person is carrying. We absorb all the cruel jokes life throws at us; yea we have fantasies about getting back at them; that's what we don't do...we just suck it up ; bite it back; when we can't do it no more we give up. We don't take the same crap , we change ,we toughen up !!!
Some people write symphonies but the accused make messes...we do need to prove one self wrong . What's done is done ...we can't change what we did. You can only change what you do now ; and you make sure you change what you do now.
You amazing and brave ...you put up a strong front but you feel brittle deep inside you know that a strong wind can break you !!!