What's my story... !!!
People tell me every single day that i have changed. Yes I've changed...I have changed in ways that I could never go back to being my old self again...Behind my sweet smile and my crazy personality, there's a great sadness in me that nobody can see or understand, I have become so good at hiding my pain...I have been doing such a remarkable/outstanding job at hiding my pain and pushing people away, it amazes me. I let people see what I want them to see and not the real me !!!
I'm a broken mess in transition of mending...I'll smile one moment even laugh out loud with my family and friends but deep inside I carry the most hurt and pain. I have lost so much that losing anyone/anything now doesn't really matter to me, i don't and i won't prove myself, or justify my changes to anyone anymore...people come people go it's cool I accept. Too me perfection doesn't exist, so I stopped trying to be perfect, I realised I don't have to prove to be perfect to anyone. The only thing perfection does is create insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, I am perfectly imperfect the way I am and I will not change for anyone !!!
The broken me will still laugh my heart out...take snap shots of every little thing, dance in the rain, ignore my pain, forget and forgive, love and learn, cherish memories, I have to remind myself that I have only one life to live, I'm trying to live it to my best, yea it's been a very difficult emotional path, but its my path to take to recover !!!
A butterfly won't fly when it rains because the raindrops damage their wings...they rest and wait it out (it's self preservation). So it's okay to rest during the storms in your life...take all the time you need to to heal, you will fly again once your storms passes.
Life experiences changes people...people change and situations changes, you yourself are allowed to change, you are allowed to start moving forward or remain stagnant. Don't allow yourself to be pressured by your circumstances...forget the noise of how everyone else thinks you should do things. Be proud with yourself, be proud of the person you are becoming through your pain, live your life that is meaningful to you, only you can decide to start doing things differently let that sink in...!!!
@atticradiothecarouselneverstopsturning
Stay safe
V.