It's all about making time,never be too busy to send a text or call ,we all are so guilty of being busy to make ourselves available until it's too late,we tend to get aggravated when someone pushes for our attention. This has been pounding in my heart for a long time, I just couldn't find the appropriate words to address this topic: It's been one of the those most painful,emotional,teary story I've ever written . It's one that's closest to my heart ,watching everything that has been going around in this world especially my country . I felt it necessary to speak of this ; please don't get we wrong, what I'm about to write is the truth ,so I urge you not to misread or take it out of context. This is not related to anyone in particular, like I said with everything that's been happening in my life ,I've become very observant with the little things that may seem unimportant !!!
It's all about someone that's passed on (let me rephrase this) someone that has died . Notice how when someone passes on : we start talking more about this individual, we say only good things and forget all the bad stuff(ironic but true) ,we put up their pictures , we cry ,we mourn,we grieve . Honestly I'm guilty of all the above ,I've experienced numerous deaths this past year,family members and very very close friends (closer than my actual family). I'm guilty of not appreciating them when they were alive, at times I was so flooded with my own life that I ignored these people.
I say ignored because that's exactly what I did,now thinking of the times that my friends and family tried to reach out to me ,I just shut them out !!!
It's too late for regrets ,and yes I regret it everyday of my life, I wish to go back to having that certain person in my life again ,but it's impossible. I can't make my wrongs right ,neither can I apologise to the person who's deceased .
It haunts me everyday ,my best friend of 30 years friendship, died earlier this year ,he wasn't the perfect person but then who is,he called me everyday at odds hours pouring out his heart (what he was going through and how he messed up). I would always encourage this guy but then it was the same thing over and over ,he wasn't prepared to change nor would he want change. So everytime he called me I would either cut the call or say im busy will call him back later,but later never came !!!
Likewise with sister, everytime I would call her ,she would go on about how difficult a time she was having ,how sick she was ,there was never hope in her to see beyond her situations . Being older to me I would say to her "things will get better ,we gotta look on the brighter side of life,we are more fortunate than most people". But I guess she didn't have it in her to fight to overcome her circumstances or be as strong as I am. Yes I wish I could've told her more positive things, wish I could've made her feel more special, more wanted and more loved. Like I say it's too late now having regrets , we don't appreciate our loved ones when they alive ,how can we appreciate their death...
I will live in regret for the rest of my life
Yes I'm heartbroken that I didn't be there for the people that needed me when they world was falling apart.
This is definitely an eye opener for me ,that no matter how busy I am ,never shut anyone out,never to ignore a call or a text no matter how annoying or overwhelming that person can be,cos honestly we don't know if that's the last call or text we will ever get from that person .Lesson to learn is never be to busy for anyone, appreciate your loved ones whilst there still breathing ,no matter how much they annoy or frustrate you. Life's too short so don't regret spending every second putting a smile on someone else's face !!!